I see u again @ 11 weeks

Wow. ....what an amazing journey it has been. To be able to hear the strong and healthy sound of the Lil one's heartbeat. Truly God's miracle. 

Had told most close friends about my pregnancy and though I am happy they are happy. But I worry about having too much information. As it is I am reading alot thru the Internet and I think it had made me almost paranoid of a lot of things. But to have more experienced mothers telling me more things to watch out are making me very depressed. 

While I grapple with my increasing weight due to my good appetite, I am also concerned about looking frumpy and miserable. V is trying to be the most patient but being man they are just man. Somethings they just don't understand and don't get it. 

I worry that I may seem rude to some mother frens who start offering too much info...and I think too much. 

Haiz a lot of things to think about and also worry about especially the rising costs of hvg a baby and of coz us moving to a new place. Gosh.... I need to remain zen......

Coping with negativity

Recently been a slew of incidents happening around me. 4 friends around me been through some major events that made them dive into depression. I am comforted that 3 chose to talk to me and allowed me to counsel them. Am not the most amazing counsellor but glad they chose to confide in me rather than being by themselves. 

In summary....of my friends' predicaments...

1 friend wants a divorce with her husband of less than 6 months. 

1 friend is in serious depression due to eye trauma and mental health dipping due to eye trauma. 

1 friend went through a sudden breakup with an asshole after 2 years of peaceful relationship. 

1 friend broke off an engagement after she found bf been cheating on her for 1.5 years. 

I personally feel for these friends. Of coz I have my own opinions on how things should work but I am not them. I can only pray for them to see light and hopefully able to pull themselves out from the situations they are in. 

Guess as we all grow older, we become more vulnerable. Often than not when things don't turn out right, we are thrown off balance. It is not easy to climb back up unless u have a strong support system like friends or families (to a certain extent spiritual support).

For me, I have been trying to cope with this Lil miracle within me. I feel like an alien at times, most of the time now I just feel fat. Truly a lot of my pants getting tighter, and shopping irritates me coz I can't wear half the stuff. Boo. Trying to keep my emo in check too, which is hard. I want to scream at times when I am faced with stupidity. I have patience with slowness and asking unnecessary questions. Gosh...I am turning into a bitch. Haizzzz.... 

But really want to thank Him for giving me a smooth pregnancy so far. I feel ok....eating well (too well) and sleeping well (though I think I should zzz more). But overall AOK. amen to that.

K I written long enough. That's it for now. 

Week 8- I saw you again...

Exciting weekend. Met with Dr Fong, and I finally just have a normal scan at the tummy. And there it was. The Lil one peeking at me with a strong sounding heartbeat. In all the excitement we forgot to take pictures or get the scan pic. Geeez.... So much for paying the friggin weekend charge.

dr Fong is happy that I am eating well....no signs of nausea....no signs of anything except super painful boobs. Which he deduce will most likely follow me thru out the 9 months. Boo....

Had a nice retail therapy with Trish. After her recent breakup, guess its good to get her out to join me and V for a movie. We watched World War Z ...which was quite exciting I must say. I think I do get a kick out of seeing zombies. Hahaha abit gory but yeah...it's awesome!!

Ok...shall stop here. Dreading Monday tomorrow...dreading work...wish I can call in sick... Geez...till next post....

NOTE to myself....am trying to see more cute pictures of babies....and of coz praying fervently daily to the Lil one. 

Time to see U again.

Well it's 8th week now. This satty I will be seeing the Lil miracle again. Surreal but yeah...

So far so good... Been eating none stop. Maybe coz my palate is so limited, so far all edible. And NO I have no special cravings for fruits especially durians. V is like omg what if the Lil one like durian...*major roll eyes

Finally told immediate families, and I am thankful they are all so enthusiastic about the Lil one. But seriously take a chill pill. Will show you the list my eager SIL (recent mother) shared with me....

Oh well...I have been saying my nightly prayers, eating my supplements, eating my apples, eating variety of veges....hopefully ok...abit constipated ...Yakult is helping me...hopefully no prune juice required...

K that's it for now....till the next post....

The list here is for parents that needs 2 sets of items (one set for home use - Weekends, and one set for day caretaker's home)

List for baby:

0-1month:

1. Avent bottles (125ml) - 6 bottles  (3 ur home, 3 mum's home)

2. Avent bottles (260ml - for storage of breast milk) - 4 -6 bottles (split into ur home and ur mum's home)

3. Teats - avent (0+month - 1 hole) - 6 teats

4. Puréen bottle cleanser (green) - 1 bottle + 1 refill pack

5. Tollyjoy baby clothes detergent (pink) - 1 bottle + 1 refill pack

6. Sterilizer (avent ; 4-in-1) - 2 units

7. Milk warmer (Avent) - 2 units

8. Breast milk storage bag - 3 boxes

9. Breast pad - 1 box

10. Baby Cot (2 units - 1 for ur home, 1 mum's home)

11. Baby body shampoo (2 bottles)

12. Baby diapers (mamipoko new born - 3 packs

13.  Cotton wool pack (for washing of baby's face) - 1 pack

14. Baby wipes - Anakku brand  (6 packets)

15. Baby powder 2 bottles

16. Baby lotion 2 bottles

17. Bottle brush - 2

18. Baby white napkins - 2 dozen (split)

19. Mittens -& botties/socks 1 dozen each

20. Baby bathing basin (2 units)

21. Ru yi you - 2 big bottles 

22. Desitin brand buttock cream (blue) - 2 tubes (purple - stronger)

23. Baby long sleeves bodysuit - 1 dozen

24. Swaddle clothe (to wrap bb back home from hospital) 1 piece

26. Baby short sleeves bodysuit - 1 dozen

27. Baby long pants - 1 dozen

28. Handkerchief - 1 dozen

29. Soft handkerchief - 1 dozen

30. Diapers changing mat - 2 (ur home and mum's home)

31. Nail scissors/clippers 

32. Comb

33.  Baby bib (5 each)

34. Baby pillow - 4 (split into 2

Places)

35. Baby bolster - 4 (split into 2 places)

36. Baby mattress, pillow and bolster covers (2-3 sets each side)

37. Baby Blanket - 2 - 3 sets each side

38.  Plastic container to store after sterilized bottles - 2 sets

39. Baby room lamp (yellow light - for night use to check on baby) 1 unit

40. Baby bouncing bed - 2 sets (optional)

List for mummy:

1.  3-4 sets of nursing bra (invest in good ones - to maintain the shape of the breast)

2. Breast pad (is a must for the first 3 weeks)

3. Nursing clothes (I wear big big t-shirt)

4. Confinement lady

5. 30 packets of bathing herbal (depends how long is ur confinement - varied from 28days to 40 days)

6. Medela flexible duo pump

7. Drink plenty of water and soup to increase milk production.

8. Stay happy and positive

9. Is ok to cry if u feel like to.... Let it out.... Do not control

10. Maternity pad (5 packets)

11. 2 - 3 packet (each packet -5 panties) of Disposal panties (from labour till out of hospital)

13. Milk storage bag - 10 packets for a good 3 months BF program

14. Stretch mark cream - continue to apply

15. Latching clothe ("peek n feed" brand) CNt rem the brand name

16. Nipple cream - is a must!!!

17. Nipple wipes... 2 boxes

18. Dry shampoo

19. Towels (to wipe sweats - is a must)

20. Body Towels for herbal bath use - 4 towels

21. 4-5 sets of Long trousers (pyjamas - to replace sarong)

22. Vagina disinfectant spray (normally hospital will provide)

Sent from my iPhone

A miracle in the making

Tadaaaa.... It is quite amazing just after 1 week I can hear the heartbeat and Lil VNA has grown a few mm.

I really wanna thank God for his blessings and may he continue to bless my pregnancy and bless this Lil miracle growing inside me. Strong, healthy, good looking, and god fearing child is what I sincerely pray for everyday....

God bless me to eat healthily and responsibly. 

Amen....

1 more week to our big move...bye bye woodlands!!!

Looking forward to this Satty

Another milestone this weekend. Am looking forward to hearing the heartbeat @ week 6.

Am praying fervently for a good healthy growth. Faithfully taking my vits and trying to eat more vegs. It is really hard to stomach fruits. Mere thought of fruits super bleargh

Still have not told my mum. Guess wait till we hear the heartbeat before revealing the big news. So surreal to be keeping such a news from my family and friends. :)

I have been so tired....so trying to sleep slightly earlier and so easily hungry. thanks to my dear V, faithfully driving me around to eat my favourite things. Love that.

On the flip side been really busy with house moving. Am worried once i tell my mum, she sure will say no to moving here and there. Of coz not like i will super care. Will try to avoid whenever possible, but what a timing. We just sold off our red couch, tv console, dining table, shelves & bed frames. Geeeez so sad to see such an empty house. The house that had been our lovenest for the past 5 years.

Emo time!

ok thats the update for now....

In self denial..i need to talk about IT

Congratulations! Your baby is due on or around:

Wednesday, 5 February 2014
4 weeks pregnant (Recalculate)

• Your baby is about the size of a poppy seed

I have not told anyone not even my parents. Between me and V we just been smiling at each other and basically me torturing him with lil things like fetching me water!! kekeke

Unless you are still a faithful reader of my blog (like SJ) then  yeah you will know about this NEWs too. 

So far doc had taken 3 vials of blood from me to ensure baby is growing and all came back positive. Like its doubling every 2 days. 

As it is, my food palate already very minimum. Now it seems to be shrinking further. Well technically i need to add fruits!!! bleargh...veg i can try but fruits are really gross!! 

Oh dear...how now brown cow!!!!

geeeez

A big change

Wow...it seems like there is a miracle inside me right now. The feeling is both surreal and scary. I just pray fervently that this miracle will continue to grow healthily and that angels will protect all of us. 

I think it is probably week 4 now. So Dear dr Fong is still monitoring my blood to ensure the hcg levels are growing normally. I pray it will too.... 

Fertility issues

After years of denial, yes I have fertility issues. I have mild endometriosis, and my canal is challenging. To be honest, years of growing up I never thought I would be plague by this issue. I had normal regular period, occasional cramps but not dying kind. 

I think it's a woman' natural progression that you need to use your womb, and if left untouch weird things happened. It's like a punishment for not using your womb for what is for. So there yesterday I went for my first IUI and that's where my gynae told me that its the most challenging IUI he had ever done. :(

This whole experience just sucks. I hate the eating...the monitoring..the injections ....the constant reminders when I am on the streets that I can't perform the most basic task of child birth.

All in all, I still put my faith in God. I believed he has a plan for me in 2013. With the new house on the way, I am sure he will bless me with the miracle file of God. All in good time ...I just have to be still and wait. 

Amen. 

That's all for now.

I am an impatient bitch

Hmm...why am i am in self-loath mode? No not depressed. But just that work is busy and pressurizing for the past 2 weeks and I feel there is a need for me to rant.

I know as I accumulate experience I should be teaching the younger generation- the supposed Gen Y. I keep telling myself that I need to let go, but the control freak in me can't. I am always amazed at why these gen Y find it so easy to say don't know and that itself washes them clean of any responsibility. Bullshit... Seriously....

Back in my days you suck it in and just friggin do it. Maybe I am lagging but I can't tolerate the constant spoon-feeding and constant mothering. I wish these kids can start to be more initiative and also get more eq.

Wait a min was I like that once? Hmm...I dunno. Well I earned my stripes working for so many years, so these kids jut have to learn. Think life at Loreal changed me, stripped me of my innocence and instill an impatient bitch.

Things I discover about myself ..... Hahaha

That's it for now...till next post.

Counting down to saying bye bye to woodlands... Boo....

A peaceful Sunday, like.

After weeks of searching for a house. Finally a weekend we can rest and actually catch up on our sleep.

Started the day with worshipping God and having a nice encounter with him. Truly felt the presence of Him today. For I know I have his word, his grace and his love, and if god is for us who can be against us.

Lunch was a good time fellowshipping with my CG. looking forward to our Vesak day excursion to kukup.

Attaching my idol of the moment- Jo in sung oppa.

God is INDEED GOOD ALL THE TIME

Wow...this is truly miracle.

We had been looking for that elusive love nest for the past month. As of last post, we thought we found it.

True enough...we kept thinking about the unit. Finally we went for the 2nd viewing with my mum and sis over weekend. Viola we made an offer.

However the asking price was 1.55mil, least that is what the agent says. We steadily sat at woodleigh till 7pm doing our numbers, checking the price we can afford without killing ourselves. So dear Ming said lets put forth 1.5mil first and see how. In my heart I thought, seriously if at 1.48mil reject, you think they are going to consider us at 1.5mil meh?? But still Ming wanted to try. So off we left her to work her magic.

While for the next 48hrs, we were praying hard to God for provision and also a smooth transaction, and finally of coz accepting our 1.5mil offer. True enough today we finally got the green light and also the OTP form from seller confirming the acceptance.

Indeed God works in true miracle. Am so blessed and thankful for this wonderful blessing. Now am just left with one last blessing.

God is indeed good all the time is all I can say and I truly believe it.

Amen

8@woodleigh - block 2, #01-03. Awesome...indeed. ;)

Funny how life turns out... At 34

Just past my 34 bday. Begins another year of adventure. First part of adventure started at work with Mediacom shifting to the china square.

Second part of adventure was quite unexpected. Started with random chat with meen who intoro her very on agent -Ming to me. Well Ming recently helped meen to sell and upgrade her Lil abode. So VNA decided hey let's try and check out how much our flat can fetch. Anyway no kids no nothing, so lets sell our house. Well low and behold we got the valuation, not super ideal but still higher than what paid. Within 2 weekends, the house was sold at 480k when we bought at 270k. So VNA happy. Now VNA stressing over where the new love nest will be. Soo cross fingers and toes we can get the unit we want....

Third part of adventure- IUI. Hopefully we can sort that out by this week and then...tadaa all goes well. Praying hard on that aspect and house too....

May our prayers be answered real soooooon....

Till the next post. Technically with iPad mini I should be able to blog more. Yes I should. YOLO!!

http://www.propertyguru.com.sg/listing/13218666/for-sale-8-woodleigh

Is this where we will stay??? :)

Latest addition to the Tan family... Lil Aaron Tan

Aww...looking at this photo can totally make my day. Lil Aaron is growing cuter every day even in the midst of his two naughty sisters. Glad the two sis ain't too rough with him.

Well more pics to follow....:)

Moving to the next stage...

I think I have bought at least 6 baby shower gifts so far and still counting.

Am happy for my dear frens ...dun misunderstand me. Especially when my closest gf-Janice is also expectingh her firstborn.

The road to bb-land ain't the smoothest for me. Maybe the elusive child sense this unprepared mum. Well I just had a keyhole surgery to remove blood cyst. My condition- endometriosis is common amongst women. No explaination...it just happen.

So treatment wise post surgery is to 3mths of menopausal state to clear rremaining cysts ...after that I have a 6 mths window to use whatever methods to concieve. Most likely will use iui to just try...cozt the longer I stretched...high chance of recurring cysts..

Oh well this step is sure a bigs one..shall wait...and.continue praying...

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need to boost my brain juice post!

OMG. I really need to visit this forgotten site of mine more often. I realised i do have some odd on & off random readers.

Well to all those out there interested in my random thoughts. Hahaha...thanks.Appreciate it.

4 months onto my media job already. I guess media is still my calling. After 3 years hiatus, still like talking to different people (minus the need to socialise) and taking care of accounts.

Aside from that nothing much happened. Though i am getting more and more impatient with my IL for their incessant reminders of nothing in the oven. Seriously i don't work alone you know. Why can't they look at their son too?

Bleargh...Am turning 33 in 4 days time. tick tick tick tick away.... another year looms. What lies ahead i wonder?

Checkout my very cute nieces!!

Luv them to bits!

Can I be a part time mother??

I had been thinking lately given that I have 2 offers. What do I want out of life? Seriously I don't think I am a very ambitious person. Climbing the corporate ladder dun think that suit me.

Next how about being domesticated
?? Well let's see. Being a mum, unless that is a part time job- maybe! Hahah wait till get a bun in the oven first lah! Being a housewife- no! Coz that means I have to clean cook! Hate that!

Oh no what else is there? Am sure Jesus din create me to be an idler! So what?

Back to the drawing board! Yi nee mai nee moh!!
Fark!

Media or marketing?

Hate making such life changing decisions! Haiz...

Mediacom or Luxasia? How now brown cow? At this age I have to choose wisely!!

Do I wanna cruise or do I wanna be dynamic and piah my way up the corporate ladder??

Decisions decisions!!?? I sense my holis ending!!! What?!!!

SATC is my bible

I have been spending about 2 weeks at home. Clearing stuffs, watching movies & playing with my nieces.

In between i watched SATC series plus the 2 movies. Gosh i swear each time i watch any episodes i get new revelations. Its like all these while the actual bible verses popping right out of the screen and into my face.

Pardon me Jesus and my dear Hubz. But it is true.

Night after night i try to read the bible and tries to connect with God, I just get a void. However each episode of SATC and i swear i get a new revelation of how i want my life to be and my life direction.

"We were perfectly happy before we decided to live happily ever after."

I like this sentence. Its from SATC movie 1. Do woman still seek to live happily ever after?

I know there isn't any happily ever after. We live in the real world. Tons of crap day in and day out. But do we actually try to minimise the unhappiness!?

Yawnz...