Just a month ago today I was just experiencing the water leakage and about to give birth. Now he is here and we just celebrated his one month old yesterday at VNA ROM venue- my sis function room. That's right, back where we all started the commitment to each other.
Thru out the month, I had my ups and downs. While I tried to accommodate and bear the gross rich food, there are times when V pushes me to learn from aunty that made me had my meltdowns. And especially so when my CL had to leave suddenly and I was left alone with Ely and lil E. Suddenly I had to be the mother and perform my duties. I felt thrown into the deep end, and especially so when he cries. Grappling with the unknown is so scary, i felt helpless and no control of the outcome.
It got so bad that I actually crave pumping milk time coz that's like an escape for me. Think I was almost slipping into PND. Then Mr V gave me a lot of encouragement to get me to think positive. And of coz seeing this lil toot growing everyday with my breastmilk also encourages me a lot.
Think I have to come to terms that this is for life. No more thinking about my own time or say I wanna quit this job. Whether I like it or not, lil E is here to stay and for us to shower him with love.
CL is back for a week and this precious week is for us to learn all that we can from her ...build our confidence and then the real test will begin Friday onwards. Then mr V got to leave us to go Korea for a week. So all 3 of us are gonna head over to my mum's for awhile. Least someone is there.....
Still can't believe I am a mummy and this cutie boy is mine!!! Thank God for hearing our prayers and blessed us this beautiful and strong boy- Emmanuel Ng.
